Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Reflection...

Took some time today to go to the East Race...to a spot I call "my spot!" The contractors built the spot just for me when they poured the concrete! (Although I couldn't sit there today because the water is so high!)


Here is the view from my spot...

Here is another view from my spot...took these this morning! I get to see water AND my city!!
I have spent hours and hours in this spot praying... crying... wondering... dreaming... wishing... longing... PLEADING with God...and today was a mixture of feelings...I was tearing up as I started to walk...thinking about the past couple of weeks...I had times of feeling sorry for myself...wondering.....................I was asked today by a good friend if I have felt depression...I said no, because I haven't stayed down long...but I also said that this has not been easy and to say that I've been a pillar of strength would be a lie. To say that I haven't felt alone, even with all the people that I know love me, would be a lie, to say that part of my emotional/spiritual heart isn't hurting...It has. I am encouraged...I am thankful...AND there are moments when I really struggle...struggle to understand...struggle to wrap my mind around all that is happening........... it's in those moments that I do what I tell others to do...I talk to myself...talk to myself with what I know to be the truth...the truth of the Word of God. I remind myself that I'm a child of THE King...that he loves me more than I could ever imagine...I remind myself of the people that have contacted me and shown me their love...I remind myself that Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world...I remind myself that HE has a plan for my life and that plan is RIGHT NOW and not just when I start feeling better.


So my walk and time of just sitting and listening to God today was good for my heart...physical, spiritual and emotional...good to just sit for part of my time and just push everything out of my mind...(that takes work, because my mind RACES to 100 things!)...but I took the time...time to simply stop...to listen, and listen in silence for God...It was good to be in his presence...real good. Sometimes he just wants us. He simply wants 100% of our attention directed to him...and it was good to give it. I love my spot. I LOVE meeting with God.

1 comment:

Jim Brown said...

We can't wait till you get back Tim!